Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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