I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
