It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
