So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Two words: nipple clamps
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