I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
