Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
