Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
