In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
