my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
