i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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