At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
