I threw up into my coffee this morning.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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