i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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