I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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