Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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