everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
