I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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