okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
