Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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