I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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