So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
