"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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