things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
