Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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