Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
