he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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