i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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