Are we in a gay sports bar?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
