fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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