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Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I have already put on my inside pants.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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