is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
