I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
