I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
