i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
