This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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