I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
