I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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