fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
