Too much gin, very little bucket
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
