Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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