Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I could fuck to npr.
I have aggressive nipples.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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