I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
