We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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