don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
