i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
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