I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
