dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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