I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
