You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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