What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
