so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
