apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
