So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
