The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
